i'm bad,i'm selfish

i'm bad,i'm selfish.....

i' selfish,i cant secrefy my times for him,when i started gain busy,our chating was like more less and less...if our relationship continue like that i dont think it will have any hapiness...rite?i know,he do loved me,and i do too,he loved me,that's y i know no matter how busy i'm,he will still wait for me,but the fact was,i dont want him to wait for me.....i dont wanna tie him up on a selfish person....i hope he could get somebody else better than me...

when i'm busy and could not secrefy times for him,i know he was sad,i dont wanna make him sad,that's y finally,i choose to be the selfish one,i made myself strong and dont be soften heart,and i hurt him a lot today,and i'm hurting myself too...

i know,if i'm sad,i mean if i look sad to do so,if i look sad in the class or while talking to anyone...things wont goes so easily ,he may know i dont wanna too,i make myself smile alot,not look too sad,but now,i'm tired already,i'm wearing a mask for 2 days already,i'm tired,i got too fixed up my broken heart myself before ppl saw it,and i wish he will too.....he's great ever..

我很自私，伤了两个人的心，我的，他的。。
我不要他等我，我很自私，因为自己伤害了你，不懂得珍惜你 ，但能够遇到你真的很棒，不会后悔， 如果我的一生会写成一本书，你将会是在最精彩快乐的那一页。。。
  他应该找个更好的。。
我失去了最爱，希望还是可以增加一个至亲。。
爱你。。。

29.6.11
after 5 month and 8 days......♥
.

i dont want!!!!!

i dont know what i want nowadays acually...
hey guys,if you guys do have a boyfriend which loved you,you guys will feel so happy and love him yea???
i duno what happen to me,i'm not like that man!
hmm.....he did alot for me,but,something stress me when i with him..
when a ppl get in to your life,when you secrefy your time for him,you may feel so annoying and feel stress izzit??
when he msg me al the time,until i cant do anything else...
when because have to reply his mag,you have to hide yourself somewhr not to let your mom saw you are msging...
it is realy bad to me.......
i wanna do many other things else rather then msg him a whole day,
i wanna enjoy my time with family rather then hide my self in room just to msg him
i wanna watch movie rather thn keep on pressing the phone and cant concentrate
after 2 days of my holidays since i sicked,i realise that acually i can be really happy by not msging all the time,i can have my own time by having fun with family,watch movie,study and other else.....
i dont wanna secrefy so much time for him!!!!but he dont ever understand
if i dont reply his mag,he would be so angry,he wanna mag me all the time,day and night!!!!!
it is so damn annoying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i dont want!
i feel unhappy ,he dont really understand what i want!i want a boyfriend!but not the boyfriend like a husband,you dont nid to find all the day and nite,because we both still have our own life to go,just a little time that we could use to msg,or meet but not whole day whole night!

。。。。。。。。。。

你离开的一年后，在我脑海里不在常常出现你脸蛋的时候。。。
你却找我了。。是msn！
你问我还记得你吗?你告诉我你被女朋友甩了很难过，你还问我当时到底我有没有真的喜欢过你。。
你告诉我你真的
有喜欢过我呢，当时。。。你知道我听你这么说我有多开心吗??呵呵。。
你说你那里的一个朋友的女朋友drea真的跟我很像 。。我的反映也只是‘哦。。是吗。。’
年头的时候在fb看到你的profile的时候，我真的整个僵掉了。。。因为原来你跟我的同学也就是你这里的‘兄弟’还有联络呢，关系还很好。。。
从你的friendlist找到你说的drea了。。。感觉。。真的有点像，应该是性格吧，其实自己也不清楚，因为不认识。。。。。。

铭记不忘的初恋。。。

有个小小的秘密。。。
人家不是常说初恋你会永远铭记不忘吗?好像是真的呢，
可以称得上是初恋吗?不是我不接受，更不是他不接受，只是在不对的时间吧。。
最后刚刚开始期待些什么的时候。。刚刚想好好发展的时候。。
已经来不及，来不及说什么，期待的事情变成什么都不是，因为什么都还没来得及你却离开了。。
开学后听说刚过的假期里，你回来了，有一点后悔呢。。
后悔为什么整个假期都不出去晃呢?出去的话是不是就会有机会再见到你呢?即使只是看一眼也好。。。
有时候还是会想起以前的事情，也会想知道，到底你心里还记得这个我吗?还是，你只把这样的我当成了生命里渺小不堪的过客而已?还是。。跟我一样，有时候还是会想起我呢??不太可能吧。。。
要是这么刚好的，这么幸运的假期里让我碰到你会这么样啊??你还会记得我，跟我打招呼吗?还是现在都变成陌生人了????啊。。。为什么都会想起这些呢?
现在的我们真的都因为时间变了。。。
你有她，而我也有他，就算见了也不会怎么样的了！对吧?
呵呵。。。那个在我生命里，我脑海里留下好印象的你，谢谢，你让我的初恋添满彩色，不是暗淡的，不是凄凉的。。。。。

little 'girly friends'

Today during tuition, we was having chit chat with my friends and one of them mentioned how little 'girly friends' I have because I tend to get on better with guys. Immediately, I tried to disagree but actually this is true. My guy friends CONSTANTLY question whether I am really a girl which is funny because my parents do the same thing. I realised today just how uncomfortable I am around girly ladies. Don't get me wrong because there is nothing wrong with being girly of course but damn, I am seriously awkward around girly girls. I think this is why I was never popular in High School because my vulgarness seems to scare girls off because it creeps them out but as my little brother says, "Life is only fun if you're a creep sometimes". But I do remember trying to be girly and failing miserably during school. What about you guys? So cool because I'm in my 17's now so I'm no longer trying to 'fit in' into a group because I can just be myself. 

 

 

 

 

and the last last one!!

EMO

Hello guys,

Hope you are all having a fabulous weekend. I just got back from tuition so currently chilling here in the room with a nice cup of cool drinks~. Is it me or is June flying for you guys?=)
hey guys,have you guys has any friend that does emo all the day and night???i think there're lots of friend does this around me!!
dont talk about friends,even sometimes when you turn your fb on,all kind of emo quotes will appear!!i really do think of why nowadays ppl does this alot,even me myself do emo,hmm...i mean some little times~i'm not the serious one!
one of my bestie,qiqi,she does emo all the times!okie,she sit just back to me in the class,and another one was also back to me,my bestie peei ching,both of them!they love those love note,yes surely i love it too,hmm,everyone love it rite?rather than reading essay,rivision's book,teenagers are mostly prefer to read love note or quote from internet yea?it is sweet,nice,and hapiness!but i think it as,emo!
xin wei,the small size bestie,she does emo!seriously definately!!emo all the time!
her fb wall,are always full with quotes!hmm,from english to chinese,what language's quotes you wanna read??go and search from her wall!hehe,but sti,kind of worry if i read those,will anything hapen to her,or mayb happened??
one of my friend,a nice girl,her blog,are always full with sad stuff,she wrote stuff about her,but when i read,i always feel so sad,almost every post on her blog do so!ahhh~then i found something,i found that,y did ppl do emo all the time??mayb,that's their story,or mayb noone's to share or no one's understand so we got to use quotes,post to writen down somewhere,to reliease it yea????mayb,i'm just guessing lahhhhh~~

 

 

 

a little story here

there's a little story here~

a little girl.....when she is 13 years old,her dad pass away~but she still always believe in she has a lovely family!because she loved her family love her dad and her mom,and she believe that her family love her too...

after that,her mom have to take care of she and her brother,so there's no other choice...her mother have to go and work at oversea to earn money to let them survive......her mother leave her with her relative,she dint feel angry of her mother,but she feel sorry to her mom to work alone so far away...

she felt so thankful to her mom

even when there's something happen,she got in some problem,and having so much of stress.....when she need someone to talk when everyone at her side are giving her strees...only one person who helped her,talk to her,her mother call an oversea's video call to her and talk to her...tat call gave her energy!

her mother even come back from oversea to accompany her....

she felt happy,..

but when things come so good and nice,there's always bad things following rite????

i do believe tis nowadays....

after all,slowly she found smth.....

her mom mayb has someone there,oversea....

someone that mayb her mom love.......

what should she do?her mom dint tell her any about this......

she jz found it out by herself,she heard they having phone call,having video calls.....and those 'kind of words'...that friends would not said!!

maybe,some of you will agree with her mom to have someone since her dad passed away for so long,and we cant tie up someone who are still young and pretty for a husband which had been passed away for few years...

but still,if her mom could had tell her about this,and dont keep it as a secret,mayb she would not feel so badly,right??untill now her mom dint tell her any yet...she felt so badly that she cant tell to anyone....

that's all...