i'm bad,i'm selfish

i'm bad,i'm selfish.....

i' selfish,i cant secrefy my times for him,when i started gain busy,our chating was like more less and less...if our relationship continue like that i dont think it will have any hapiness...rite?i know,he do loved me,and i do too,he loved me,that's y i know no matter how busy i'm,he will still wait for me,but the fact was,i dont want him to wait for me.....i dont wanna tie him up on a selfish person....i hope he could get somebody else better than me...

when i'm busy and could not secrefy times for him,i know he was sad,i dont wanna make him sad,that's y finally,i choose to be the selfish one,i made myself strong and dont be soften heart,and i hurt him a lot today,and i'm hurting myself too...

i know,if i'm sad,i mean if i look sad to do so,if i look sad in the class or while talking to anyone...things wont goes so easily ,he may know i dont wanna too,i make myself smile alot,not look too sad,but now,i'm tired already,i'm wearing a mask for 2 days already,i'm tired,i got too fixed up my broken heart myself before ppl saw it,and i wish he will too.....he's great ever..

我很自私，伤了两个人的心，我的，他的。。
我不要他等我，我很自私，因为自己伤害了你，不懂得珍惜你 ，但能够遇到你真的很棒，不会后悔， 如果我的一生会写成一本书，你将会是在最精彩快乐的那一页。。。
  他应该找个更好的。。
我失去了最爱，希望还是可以增加一个至亲。。
爱你。。。

29.6.11
after 5 month and 8 days......♥
.

i dont want!!!!!

i dont know what i want nowadays acually...
hey guys,if you guys do have a boyfriend which loved you,you guys will feel so happy and love him yea???
i duno what happen to me,i'm not like that man!
hmm.....he did alot for me,but,something stress me when i with him..
when a ppl get in to your life,when you secrefy your time for him,you may feel so annoying and feel stress izzit??
when he msg me al the time,until i cant do anything else...
when because have to reply his mag,you have to hide yourself somewhr not to let your mom saw you are msging...
it is realy bad to me.......
i wanna do many other things else rather then msg him a whole day,
i wanna enjoy my time with family rather then hide my self in room just to msg him
i wanna watch movie rather thn keep on pressing the phone and cant concentrate
after 2 days of my holidays since i sicked,i realise that acually i can be really happy by not msging all the time,i can have my own time by having fun with family,watch movie,study and other else.....
i dont wanna secrefy so much time for him!!!!but he dont ever understand
if i dont reply his mag,he would be so angry,he wanna mag me all the time,day and night!!!!!
it is so damn annoying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i dont want!
i feel unhappy ,he dont really understand what i want!i want a boyfriend!but not the boyfriend like a husband,you dont nid to find all the day and nite,because we both still have our own life to go,just a little time that we could use to msg,or meet but not whole day whole night!

。。。。。。。。。。

你离开的一年后，在我脑海里不在常常出现你脸蛋的时候。。。
你却找我了。。是msn！
你问我还记得你吗?你告诉我你被女朋友甩了很难过，你还问我当时到底我有没有真的喜欢过你。。
你告诉我你真的
有喜欢过我呢，当时。。。你知道我听你这么说我有多开心吗??呵呵。。
你说你那里的一个朋友的女朋友drea真的跟我很像 。。我的反映也只是‘哦。。是吗。。’
年头的时候在fb看到你的profile的时候，我真的整个僵掉了。。。因为原来你跟我的同学也就是你这里的‘兄弟’还有联络呢，关系还很好。。。
从你的friendlist找到你说的drea了。。。感觉。。真的有点像，应该是性格吧，其实自己也不清楚，因为不认识。。。。。。

铭记不忘的初恋。。。

有个小小的秘密。。。
人家不是常说初恋你会永远铭记不忘吗?好像是真的呢，
可以称得上是初恋吗?不是我不接受，更不是他不接受，只是在不对的时间吧。。
最后刚刚开始期待些什么的时候。。刚刚想好好发展的时候。。
已经来不及，来不及说什么，期待的事情变成什么都不是，因为什么都还没来得及你却离开了。。
开学后听说刚过的假期里，你回来了，有一点后悔呢。。
后悔为什么整个假期都不出去晃呢?出去的话是不是就会有机会再见到你呢?即使只是看一眼也好。。。
有时候还是会想起以前的事情，也会想知道，到底你心里还记得这个我吗?还是，你只把这样的我当成了生命里渺小不堪的过客而已?还是。。跟我一样，有时候还是会想起我呢??不太可能吧。。。
要是这么刚好的，这么幸运的假期里让我碰到你会这么样啊??你还会记得我，跟我打招呼吗?还是现在都变成陌生人了????啊。。。为什么都会想起这些呢?
现在的我们真的都因为时间变了。。。
你有她，而我也有他，就算见了也不会怎么样的了！对吧?
呵呵。。。那个在我生命里，我脑海里留下好印象的你，谢谢，你让我的初恋添满彩色，不是暗淡的，不是凄凉的。。。。。

little 'girly friends'

Today during tuition, we was having chit chat with my friends and one of them mentioned how little 'girly friends' I have because I tend to get on better with guys. Immediately, I tried to disagree but actually this is true. My guy friends CONSTANTLY question whether I am really a girl which is funny because my parents do the same thing. I realised today just how uncomfortable I am around girly ladies. Don't get me wrong because there is nothing wrong with being girly of course but damn, I am seriously awkward around girly girls. I think this is why I was never popular in High School because my vulgarness seems to scare girls off because it creeps them out but as my little brother says, "Life is only fun if you're a creep sometimes". But I do remember trying to be girly and failing miserably during school. What about you guys? So cool because I'm in my 17's now so I'm no longer trying to 'fit in' into a group because I can just be myself. 

 

 

 

 

and the last last one!!

EMO

Hello guys,

Hope you are all having a fabulous weekend. I just got back from tuition so currently chilling here in the room with a nice cup of cool drinks~. Is it me or is June flying for you guys?=)
hey guys,have you guys has any friend that does emo all the day and night???i think there're lots of friend does this around me!!
dont talk about friends,even sometimes when you turn your fb on,all kind of emo quotes will appear!!i really do think of why nowadays ppl does this alot,even me myself do emo,hmm...i mean some little times~i'm not the serious one!
one of my bestie,qiqi,she does emo all the times!okie,she sit just back to me in the class,and another one was also back to me,my bestie peei ching,both of them!they love those love note,yes surely i love it too,hmm,everyone love it rite?rather than reading essay,rivision's book,teenagers are mostly prefer to read love note or quote from internet yea?it is sweet,nice,and hapiness!but i think it as,emo!
xin wei,the small size bestie,she does emo!seriously definately!!emo all the time!
her fb wall,are always full with quotes!hmm,from english to chinese,what language's quotes you wanna read??go and search from her wall!hehe,but sti,kind of worry if i read those,will anything hapen to her,or mayb happened??
one of my friend,a nice girl,her blog,are always full with sad stuff,she wrote stuff about her,but when i read,i always feel so sad,almost every post on her blog do so!ahhh~then i found something,i found that,y did ppl do emo all the time??mayb,that's their story,or mayb noone's to share or no one's understand so we got to use quotes,post to writen down somewhere,to reliease it yea????mayb,i'm just guessing lahhhhh~~

 

 

 

a little story here

there's a little story here~

a little girl.....when she is 13 years old,her dad pass away~but she still always believe in she has a lovely family!because she loved her family love her dad and her mom,and she believe that her family love her too...

after that,her mom have to take care of she and her brother,so there's no other choice...her mother have to go and work at oversea to earn money to let them survive......her mother leave her with her relative,she dint feel angry of her mother,but she feel sorry to her mom to work alone so far away...

she felt so thankful to her mom

even when there's something happen,she got in some problem,and having so much of stress.....when she need someone to talk when everyone at her side are giving her strees...only one person who helped her,talk to her,her mother call an oversea's video call to her and talk to her...tat call gave her energy!

her mother even come back from oversea to accompany her....

she felt happy,..

but when things come so good and nice,there's always bad things following rite????

i do believe tis nowadays....

after all,slowly she found smth.....

her mom mayb has someone there,oversea....

someone that mayb her mom love.......

what should she do?her mom dint tell her any about this......

she jz found it out by herself,she heard they having phone call,having video calls.....and those 'kind of words'...that friends would not said!!

maybe,some of you will agree with her mom to have someone since her dad passed away for so long,and we cant tie up someone who are still young and pretty for a husband which had been passed away for few years...

but still,if her mom could had tell her about this,and dont keep it as a secret,mayb she would not feel so badly,right??untill now her mom dint tell her any yet...she felt so badly that she cant tell to anyone....

that's all...

holidays ending!!!

Back to school=back to being a nerd lol.=(

 

 

“It’s easy to forget things you want to remember. It’s hard to forget things you don’t want to remember.”

 

 

 

the end of the world....awwwww!!!!

21st May 2011. remember tis?? apparently there's this guy who predicted that the World is going to end . He says a huge earthquake is going to occur and disasters are going to keep coming until October 21st (when the World will end once and for all).While it's a good thing to be prepared, I also want to say that the Bible clearly says that no man or angel will know when the end of time is coming. It always tells us to beware of false prophets. So don't worry guys =) If this guy is so smart, he wouldn't have missed out the very simple passage from the Bible that tells us that no-one except the Lord will know when end of time will come. 

It's just kind of a coincidence because I've actually been studying the book of Revelations for the past week and honestly, it overwhelmed me. So much goes on about what'll happen and to be really honest with you guys, it kind of scared me. I wasn't afraid for myself, I was afraid for my loved ones. Not just my loved ones actually - just the majority of the population of the World. But I just have to hold on to my faith and believe that God is a Righteous God and He is Right. This means He knows what He is doing. But going back to the topic of 'World Ending', no - I personally don't think it's going to end  because the Bible tells us we won't know when the time comes. If you can believe in horoscopes, magic or this 'prophet', why not the Bible? Lol, so don't worry guys.

 If the World really is to "end" tomorrow though, what would you guys do? Some say they'll eat like there is no tomorrow lol, some say they'll spend it with their loved ones. If you're still feeling afraid, then just pray =) In a quiet room, calm your heart and just confess how you feel to Him. If you're afraid of what other people might think of you, do it in your own privacy. I used to be self conscious of praying because I'm not so good with words but I realised I don't have to talk in a certain way or act in a certain way. I can just be myself because He knew me before I was even born, He knew me when I was a little girl, He knows me today and He'll know me tomorrow and forever. Sometimes when I'm mad, I just tell Him how I really feel instead of just telling him what I think He wants to hear. Somehow, He will speak to me and bring me back peace in my heart. Just be honest and let your heart pour out to Him and I'm always amazed with how a simple little prayer can always restore my soul.

but still!!!!!hehe~before this,let post smth yea!look at here~awww

“I hate how sometimes words can never come close to describing how you feel right at that moment.”

 

 

a little motto to live by...it goes like this...
there's gonna be times in your life when people tell you,
that you can't do smth...
and there's gonna be times in your life when people say,
that you can't live your dreams!
...so,you're gonna tell them,you can do it!
ducks!ducks!ducks!ducks!quacks!quacks!quacks!quacks!!zoom!!!!!!!!!!!!♥♥♥

 

 

 

 

bieber fever!!!!!♥♥♥

smth left down~~so continue yea!!since i'm having mood now~~weeheee!!
i just finished a korean drama ---49 days!since i'm boring while holidays!!
is not those 'hot' drama,but it's really touch!n i cried a lot!!!TT~~
story is abt  Ji-Hyun's  life seems to be storybook perfect. Her parents adore her and her friends all seem to admire her. Ji-Hyun is also engaged and set to marry her fiance Min-Ho in just a few days
from thr the story begin,but really dislike minho!!!but i love the main girl character,ji hyun,is nam gyu ri from seeya acually ......thn after tat ji hyun had an accidents.
Ji-Hyun walks out of her car in a daze. She is shocked to see her body being carted into an ambulance. The only person who seems to notice her standing in the road is a man on a motorcycle. The man on the motorcycle is the Scheduler- an angel of sorts who awaits to take souls to their final destinations.
Ji-Hyun follows her body into the ambulance and watches as the paramedics attempt to revive her body. At the hospital, Ji-Hyun meets the Scheduler again. The Scheduler tells Ji-Hyun that if three people (besides her family) genuinely sheds tears over her condition within the next 49 days, her body will awake from its coma and she can live again. Ji-Hyun instantly thinks of her fiance and two best friends and is certain she will live again. For the next the 49 days, Ji-Hyun then takes over the body of the suicidal Yi-Kyung in her quest to find three such persons. Ji-Hyun gets a job at a restaurant owned by her friend, Han Kang.
.......and more more~long story,better go n find out your self!but seriously,it is really interesting drama for me!!hehe

 

 

pretty right???if i could have half of her beauty!!!!awww!!!wat a lovely!!!!^^

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

and the movie??insidious!!well,b4 i watch i heard alot abt it,ppl told me,it is very scary!!

and i read from the newspapar,they said insidious is the most scary among all the horror movie for now...oh no man!!!their ghost looks fake larh!!!!but the story are still not bad !!

and another was JB love!!!!!!!!♥♥♥

justin bieber never say never!!!!!awwwwww~~~~

my bieber was damn hot!!

you must and have to watch tis!!is abt his life,how did he success like tat!and how hard does he tried for his dream....really interesting man!!!!!^^

and how cute he is!!!ohhhhhhhhhhh

i'm alive!!!!

Hello guys!

I'm in such an amazing mood teheheee! The room is so breezy thanks to Mr Air Con and I'm wearing the most unflattering PJs and LOVING IT!!!

guys,u  noe wat!!!!i was just like having so much,too much,very much stories to share!!!

jz a weeks ago,my school,or mayb urs too,having  a big deal on basketball match!!!hey hey,i'm not last long me,the little girls who dont do sports!!!i found sports interested!!!!!!!hehe!!

well,i just realise that acually kelantan was still not bad!wakaka,i dont ever say so yea^^...had a shock???haha

flag for for kelantan was red,you noe~almost 80%of our skul's stadium was full with red!surely,me too!!!i wear the ony few red shirt in my cupboard for few days you noe!!!haha

and the voice of supporting!!!OMG!

what a sad that you guys r not there!!!!^^

 

 

can you c the red shirt!!!!awww!!!haha,but tis photo taken when they're practicing not having match!!!><

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hmm,and wat's next???oh...forgotten...

ah,yea!tat video!!

you guys noe bubz????bubzbeauty????

a kind,pretty,humour person ever!it's one of my fren who r from ireland,but now she's working at hong kong..

she has such a high quality on beauty,she loves and interesting on beauty stuff,you can search her channel on youtube,she teaches make up,beauty tips,or some other funny stuff!!

but it's ok,is not my main topic here!!!wat i wanna say is bubz,her bro,and her cousin made a video,is so damn funny!

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hey guys!

 

Surprise? haha 

Besides facebook-ing, i really have nothing else to do now. 

So here I am. 

I'm blogging, like finally. wow.

 i think i deserve a kiss man.  :p

First off, I appreciate everyone who actually took the time to read my blog. I mean seriously, my blog's fricken lame  :/ anyways. I know I haven't been...hmm, updating for months, yeah been kinda busy with my studies.

hahahahahahahahaha...............~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

let me tell you about my fricken life now.

I wake up, go to school, go home,bath, tuition,. And the next day, all over again.

I feel like I'm constantly on this daily routine. It bores the heck out of me. 

I wish that i could join some party or hanging out with friends on the weekend. *neh its not like i can drink/dance or shopping anyways*. yeah. I want to grow up so I don't feel like I'm so restricted over things. I want to grow up so I can actually have control of my own goddamn life.

Instead of going straight home,  possibly go over to my friend's or something. Yumcha sessions and such. I know a lot of you have that now a day and all my friends too~they have a lot of fun everyday. But I don't. you lucky a-holes. haha. My parents, and my aunt, she's a lil protective you see,she taking care of me for few years already~since mummy's not around,and she has such a serious 'homesick' daugther that dont have friends to hanging out and stayed at home everyday~so surely she dont allow me too~but my friends different yea!and i'm those kind of hanging out lover k~!. My mom...yeah i guess she's okay. But I'm not allowed to go out yumcha at night,oh..hmm...well,not even noon or morning too,hmm...jz said it like,dont allow me to hang out !tat's all!. Good thing tho, look at the goddamn society. Sick.

In a nutshell, my life's been revolved around the same goddamn routine of home and school, school and home. Oh yeah, and tuition. !!

On second thoughts, I'm sicked with it. -.- I mean, study's my only duty now. SPM oh SPM. I can't wait to be done with you.